Wednesday, July 28, 2004

Reasons why I will not be starting a "real" blog

Lately some people have told me I should start writing a real blog. For a moment I thought about it. But I have come to the conclusion that I think it's a bad idea. Here’s why:

1) Talking about your life everyday is a lot of work.

I don't mind posting every now and again on My Space, that's just about my speed. For one thing, this way I know there isn't any pressure to keep it updated, as there would be once I go public and of course develop a massive fan base.

2) I've become too involved.

Lately, I've been feeling like I've seen some of the people from the blogs I read, around the city and it kinda tweaks me out. Here I am on my way to Duane Reade to buy some Sudafed and there's that guy from the blog I read religiously in the shampoo aisle. The one who's obsessed with this girl who has a boyfriend that she cheated on, with him like a month ago and now it's all a mess because she found the blog and wouldn't talk to him so he got wasted one night and...Okay you see where this is going? I've become involved people. I-N-V-O-L-V-E-D. I seriously wanted to ask him, "So Thursday, I noticed you didn't really post much but she seems to be talking to you again and that's cool but how did that happen? Because Tuesday she told you to fuck off and gaps like that in blog can be really confusing and it's like one minute she hates you and the next she’s talking to you? And holy fucking shit I need to get a life because I've become scary blog stalker girl!!!" See what I'm saying? If I've become this way,who is to say if I put my blog up how many people I could be passing on the street that are having creepy internal monologs about me? Yeah...not good...especially because...

3) I'm really boring actually.

I am. My friends know this about me already but you don't. I couldn't help but think when I saw that blogger guy on the street "Shit, this guy's life is way more interesting then mine, I'm not sure I want the same scenario to happen the other way around." I mean how embarrassing would it be if someone recognized me on the street and was like, "Oh there's that girl who ate cereal this morning and then tweezed her eyebrows" I mean it's not like I have this insane social life and if I did well that leads me to my 4th reason why I don't want to create a real blog.

4) Living in fear

I don't have an insane social life. There for I would be tempted to write about the people who annoy me in my life. I figured out there are actually a lot of people out there who annoy the crap out of me. Right now they don't know they annoy the crap out of me and that's a good thing, in fact that's a great thing. I'm not exactly talking about friends but mainly more about people outside your social network. People who could make your life miserable if they knew how much they make your life miserable. For example, I've found some coworkers on Friendster and it freaked me out. Kinda like when you find out your parents are stilling having sex? Yeah *shutter shutter* it's like a whole new world I didn't want to know about. "Oh my god that's Kathy from Marketing...oh god what is she licking in that picture?" Also I want to bitch about my coworkers but is it worth it in the end when they find your blog and are reading it and thinking it's so funny until they realize that
" Hey wait a second, that was my phone conversation yesterday you fucking bitch!" No... I work hard enough as it is, I don't need to make my job any worse.

5) Where's the fun in it if the person reads it anyway?

I might want to talk about you, but I'd like to reserve the right to talk about you behind your back. The good ol' fashioned way. Just like you do about me. See doesn't this work so much better?

6) Good blogs are kinda fucked up, so blog big or don't blog at all

The only blogs I like to read are the really fucked up ones. So it's hypocritical for me to start a real blog but then water everything down or use secret names. Secret names are not to be confused with fun nicknames. Fun nicknames are fun. Pukeface for example, is funny; using the name "girl1" in place of " Michelle" is lame. See the difference? One is making light of an undesirable trait, such as having a face as ugly as vomit. The other is just being secretive and trying to make it hard for me to figure out who it is. See good blogs don't do that; they put it all out there, which I think is crazy and leads me to my 7th point.

7) You have to be a little bit "padded walls" crazy to write a good blog.

To literally write about everything. Every feeling, every rejection, every self-loathing whiney moment of your life and publish it on the internet, well you have to be just a little bit psycho and you have to really think your life is interesting which means you are not only a little crazy but a little narcissistic too. Which I'm so obviously not people and I’ll be talking all about that in my next entry.

I need to go home now...perhaps I’ll write more on this later. See this is another reason why I shouldn't have a blog. I have a short attention span, I couldn’t come up with an even 10 reasons.

This post has become tiresome. Now iz thee time when we must dance.


Blogger ms fits said...

Okay, now I have to know who the guy is who is obsessed with the girl and buys shampoo. SHAMPOO! Now there's something I want to read about in a blog.

What kind did he get? Was his hair once dry and lifeless?

Fuck that's compelling.

7:57 PM  
Blogger kranki said...

I give out one Bloggy Award and the lovely and foul-mouthed Ms. Fits is already looking at your site. She's a blog legend. She got 47 comments on one of her blogs once and it was about Politics... in freaking Australia. Did you know they had their own form of government? I know. I thought it was just a big penal colony with kangaroos. Anyway. Fits' blog stock is going up and here she is stalking you when she could writing love notes to me. I'm honored to have put you two together. But if you reply to her, remember she's an Aussie, so she won't know what you're saying if you say "Mom" or "Ass." It has to be "Mum" or "Arse." It's a complex language.

But yeah, I want to know what she wants to know. I won't tell anybody but her and nobody knows who you are so don't sweat it.

As far as not coming up with a full 10 reasons, it's like my grandmother always said when she cooked something, it's supposed to be like that. I like that you post about not posting. It's fantastically ironic. Keep up not keeping a blog, I enjoy reading about it.

4:06 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oh, My God. "Kathy from Marketing?" She's my friendster. Holy shit!

4:11 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oh, My God. "Kathy from Marketing?" She's my friendster. Holy shit!

4:11 AM  
Blogger S said...

Well according to the photo, apparently she's a lot of people's friendster.

5:29 PM  

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