Thursday, February 17, 2005

Another reason to hate the phone.

Yesterday I opened up my cell phone bill to discover what I first thought was a horrible mistake. How could I be $78.00 over? Who the hell did I talk to for so long, I don't even like the phone! So I scanned and scanned the numbers till I got to what seemed to be the obvious culprit.

My mom.

My mom had called me a few days ago from Florida on vacation with my Dad to tell me they had bought a house in Naples. (Fuck yeah! Girls you know where we are going!) And then to tell me about the dream she had about me.

Dreams are funny things. Ever notice the minute you have some crazy dream about someone you feel like you just have to tell them. And then the minute you start telling them they completely tune out? I mean you really want to believe they are as interested in it as you are but let’s face it hearing about someone's dream is well... boring. I'm not even sure why that is but somehow whenever someone starts out a sentence with, "OMG I had this dream last night and you were in it..." I almost would rather stick tiny hot forks into my eyes then listen to it. Another thing about dreams is what seemed to make complete sense in your head 5 minutes ago, is now something so abstract it can't really be put into words and yet you will try...or in this case my mother tried.

" Okay so I had this dream last night and you and I were driving...* insert story about how long the drive down to FL was with various substories including where they ate and what relatives they visited* I dunno where we were driving to but it was weird because we actually weren't in a car well it was a car but it didn't look anything like a car and well it was you but you looked totally different but I knew it was you, I dunno why I just did and then we were in our old livingroom *insert discription of new house in Naples. Naples the town, the weather down in Naples and the shell store they went to that day* was my old house growing up except it was green...Sandy are you listening?"

See, listening to another person's dreams is like listening to a person with ADD talk about their day. Lot's of unimportant details, several substories in addition to quite a few unconnected thoughts that really have nothing to do at all with their day but probably occurred to them while they were talking. I know this because I live this and if there is one thing an ADD person can't handle, it is talking to another person with ADD. Or in this case my mom.

I love my mom but I'm quite surprised that we haven't spontaneously blown up in some freak cosmic event that only occurs when you get too people into the same room who like to tell really overly detailed stories. My mom also is getting to that age when she tells me the same thing like 50 times. Who am I kidding she's always done that. But lately it seems to be getting more noticeable. But since I know I will do this someday too as I tend to already, I generally let her go on. Which is apparently what I did on January 12th 7:26 pm and exactly 34 minutes before my freakin free minutes kicked in. Good job Sandy.


Blogger laurenbove said...

Another commonality we have. The overly detailed dream retelling. I feel it is of MUCH significance and will begin before I can uncrust the eye's open. Alas, Joe is much less impressed. I can tell because I'll say: I had a dream Joe... and he'll say: (enter crickets chirping)...

6:14 PM  
Blogger S said...

LOL! Yeah I'll start going into my dream as soon as I wake up only to end up boring myself back to sleep again.

11:17 AM  
Blogger Low's Stories Big and Tall said...

I really quite enjoy hearing about my behaviour in other peoples dreams. I think it stems from an overblown ego.

And really, I can't think of anything lovelier than a woman starting of a conversation with the words "I had a dream about you last night..."

1:10 PM  
Blogger S said...

When you put it that way I can see it could be different for a guy. Oh and thanks for the add. Very cool :)

12:28 PM  

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