Wednesday, February 02, 2005

Holy Fucking Shit

Last night I had a marathon conversation with my friend Julie that involved an entire bottle of wine and a pack of cigarettes.(at least on my end of the phone) It was such a fantastic conversation though that I found myself actually not wanting to get off the phone at all. I realized it was my second marathon phone conversation in less than a week. Which is sorta a major deal for me in a way actually, as I'm not what you'd call a "phone-person"

I never used to hate the phone till somewhat recently. I'm not really sure what happened to be honest. But some time in the last couple of years I started to develop a general aversion to the phone, which most recently developed into complete contempt for it.

Matt has noticed my problem with the phone and teases me over it by doing impressions of me when my phone rings that generally involve a high-pitched voice that sounds nothing like mine (Matt.) and a lot of overly dramatic sighs and eye rolling. (Okay yes...maybe I do that...sometimes.) Even a few friends have witnessed my phone tantrums and I guess rightly so, have become a little phone-insecure over it. Sometimes asking me if I do that when they call. The answer obviously is...of course not.

(Okay I might, but usually it's because I don't even know it's you calling me yet you see? And I just react, I just I dunno react... but you see once I know it's you, I'm really glad and you're probably just getting my voicemail because I'm in the subway...or...um...away from my desk... or my phone is off or I just missed you, or you've called me like 4 times in less then 5 hours and that's just fucking freaky. Are we good?)


But last night was great and I was happy to continue my conversation with Julie for hours. (Hi Julie!) After my phone and hers were ready to die we finally hung up and I started making myself a late dinner. What I made can only be described as a Brooklyn miracle, I'm calling it Holy Fucking Shit This Is The BEST Chicken Ever! It was so good I feel the need to share this masterpiece. Now I've heard that in some parts of the world people call this Chicken Milanese. Shhhhyeah. What the fuck is that about? Jealous?

So I bring you...

Sandy's Holy Fucking Shit This Is The BEST Chicken Ever! recipe:

Ingredients as follows:

Boneless chicken breasts
Chicken stock
White wine (whatever is left after you drank most of it, any cheap dry kind will do)
Shallots
Butter
Garlic
Mushrooms
Fresh parsley
Italian seasonings
Egg
Flour

Dip the chicken pieces into the egg and then into the flour, do this twice for extra crispy fried goodness. Take a moment, to marvel. Just, marvel.

Fry chicken in a pan with a ridiculous amount of oil. Roughly 2 mins on each side. Take chicken out and drain onto a paper towel.

In a new pan, melt butter; add chopped shallots, garlic and mushrooms and spices until softened. Add a few tablespoons of flour to thicken into a rue. Then slowly add chicken stock and wine.

Stir until it gradually thickens, then add chicken back into the pan with sauce until completely cooked through, like 5-10 mins. At this point you might realize, that in your moment of complete self-adoration over creating something so fucking beautiful, you totally spaced on starting the spaghetti...so start the spaghetti, preferably start the spaghetti some time around 10 fucking minutes ago.

Okay the spaghetti is nearly done, just a tad undercooked that's good, you wanna drain that and then throw that into the pan with the Holy Fucking Shit This Is The BEST Chicken Ever!

Let it sop...seep, sop whatever the hell that word is, the entire flavor up for about 1 minute or 2 off the heat. And Voila!




4 Comments:

Blogger laurenbove said...

I copped your phone topic. Not b/c I'm lame (ok, I'm lame) but b/c I'm passionate about phone-related issues.

12:33 PM  
Blogger Low's Stories Big and Tall said...

My phone hasn't rung in four days.

Any chicken left?

12:53 PM  
Blogger imperfectly said...

Dude, my dear, you and I share a brain - even still when we live across the country from one another. Have we ever discussed the phone aversion thing? I'm really bad with it - can't barely call my friends who call me all the time. In my case I think it's a combo of insecurity and paranoia.. damn, as usual I could go on and on but as usual (lately) I have a freakin' meeting to prep for. Why did I take a real job again? Oh yeah, have to make money...

1:13 PM  
Blogger S said...

The chicken is...well you saw the name. I ate it 2 nights in a row. I feel like I'd even eat it again tonight, that shouldn't happen. Oh my god what's wrong with me?

Low don't worry, I'm expecting my phone won't be ringing all much after revealing my issues with it.

Imperfectly...we do seem to scarely share a brain quite often. cRaZy! I hope you start a blog, yours would be so awesome!

1:30 PM  

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