Monday, April 04, 2005

Springtime in New York

It's that time of year again.

Longer days and milder weather. Fresh cut flowers, drinks outside with your friends and the nut jobs out wondering the streets fresh from their winter hibernation.

It's spring time in New York.

It’s been quite a week of total insanity. No I mean literally. I have yet to experience a ‘normal’ subway commute if that is possible in NYC since moving to the new apt. This past week saw a definite increase in unstable characters gravitating a little too close to my personal space. Which isn’t to say some of it hasn’t been mildly entertaining at times but damn what was up with all the crazies coming out of the woodwork last week?

There was the seemingly ‘normal’ looking guy who sat next to me on the 6 train and then proceeded to talk to the person in front of him about the Ford Modeling agency. Oh wait a minute there wasn’t a person in front of him it was just an empty bench.

“Oh yeah I know the Ford Modeling agency. I used to work there.”

(I shift in my seat and look at the empty bench in front of us. “Is he on the phone maybe?” I am confused.)

“Oooooohhh weeeee back in the day, them girls where hot!”

(Okay totally not on the phone because um…we’re in the subway. Just completely insane. Nice.”)

“ Hey I see you but I am not going to look at you. No…no no no I’m not looking at you. *giggles* Well I’m not. You can look at me all you want but I’m not looking at you, * giggles again* you is a funny one aren’t you. * Suddenly gets annoyed at invisible person* Stop looking at me fucker! Yes I know who they are…well of course I do! Well fuck you then.”

At this point frustrated by his imaginary friend he got up and walked towards the end of the train, careful to look back once or twice and give a few dirty looks in the direction of the empty bench. Then he eventually settled down next to a middle-aged businessman to continue his conversation with the air.

Yesterday after trying to make it to this. I walked into a Deli to get money out of the ATM when a woman yelled over to me.

“ Your dogs okay!”

Assuming she wasn’t talking to me, as I do not have a dog I continued at the ATM.

“I said your dog is okay!”

This time I looked over.

“ Yeah dogs don’t care. They don’t talk to you. *Beginning to get emotional* they won’t leave you a tip… they just don’t fucking care!”

Come to think of it a dog has never left me a tip either.

And these were only a select few. There was tourette's man in front of Barnes and Noble who barked at people as they walked in. The creepy guy that walks up and down Court street telling people to save their toilet paper and save the environment. Not exactly sure how doing one thing helps the other. And last but not least the crackhead begging for money on the 4 train, who proceeded to get down on her knees and yell ‘devil-bitch!’ at the poor woman sitting next to me. Although that was kinda funny.

Ahhh spring time in New York City!


Blogger laurenbove said...

Too cute. How do you handle it all so well.

Hope the new place is shaping up.

8:09 PM  
Blogger Low's Stories Big and Tall said...

I want some! Gimme some!

6:06 PM  
Blogger S said...

I will trade you a NYC crazy for a Canadian one? It could be like an exchange student thing.

6:21 PM  
Blogger fairest said...

It's the weather that is making the guys come out of the woodworks. I mean, ladies have been planning their first 60 degree day outfit for weeks. Or at least guys think so.

8:12 PM  

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