Observations

Trust me, this is not what you were looking for.

2005-06-20T14:41:00.000-04:00

Okay blogger is fucked up, this posted so weird the first time, let's try this again...

Okay well it’s been a while. I wasn’t sure if I was going to write again on here. It’s just weird (for me) to devote a bunch of my time to talking about myself and throwing it out there for anyone to read. Well the second part is true. See…apparently you can now search for anything and you will get my blog. Thanks Google. So if you plan on searching for…Williamsburg Café, Peter Pan Bus, fajitas, America’s Next Top Model…haha sucka you get my blog. Searching for “Observations on religion’s role in politics?” you get my blog. “Weight problems in cats?”…my blog. ”Celebrities and weird sex?" My blog… and you’re gross. " Does Peter Lugar Steak sauce go bad?"...I have no idea? and you're getting my blog... How about…”cookie dough?”... my blog… Are you looking for "granny panties"? Google thinks you should check out my blog. Does your search have the word “The” in it? You’re getting my blog. That also goes for any searches that include words that have vowels or consonants, so heads up, you will be coming here.

Well it sorta freaked me out. Then I got really busy anyway. Then Matt and I left for Italy.

The quick update for all 4 of you who read this that I actually know… Birthday was amazing. Matt threw a surprise party for me so the day I wrote that was actually the day of the party. I came home after dinner with Julie and Matt to an apartment full of people yelling “surprise!” and nearly fell over. You’d think I would have caught on but I seriously did not have a clue. It was a really great night though. The next major thing after that was Italy.

Matt and I left on the 26th of May and spent 12 days eating more proscuitto then anyone should eat in their lifetime. I was pshitfaced the entire time. A typical day for Matt and I would generally go like this…

8am wake up and eat free breakfast of yogurt, croissants and jam, cappuccino on gorgeous roof deck looking out on Lake Como.
9am walk around and take quaint photos of quaint cobblestone streets, quaint people, and quaint little dogs that go “bark-ey!”
10pm contemplate if it was too early to eat gelato.
10:15 contemplate if it was too early to go to the wine bar.
10:16 go to wine bar. Eat large amount of free cheese and cured meats; get a nice early afternoon buzz on.
12am all that wine in the middle of the afternoon can make you feel a little tired or wasted. So of course we needed another cappuccino.

1pm stumble around and take quaint pictures of quaint little villages, admire quaint gardens and quaint children who make whining and temper tantrums in Italian sound adorable. Contemplate taking genius art-sy pictures for apartment walls but instead it went more like this…

“ Maatt youshooouldtake a photo of me if…oppphh—uck!… wa..wait wait wait I fell hahaha…lemme stand next to the sta-cchheww an…Matt wait…. And then, I’ll… Matt wait stop taking pictures… I’ll…whoa haha dude I totally almost fell on the stacheeew..haha…wait ok I’m doing the funny euro-trash face…”ciao!” Bah hahahaha…um Matt…I think I messed up my ankle…

2pm “Do you feel like Pizza?
2pm “yes.”
3pm I feel kinda pukey from eating so much pizza.
3:02 “Do you know what time it is?”
3:03 “ No what time is it?”
3:04 ”It’s gelato time!”

Matt and I constructed a theory that the higher and fluffier the gelato was the better it tasted. We tested this theory everyday to make sure. We took our gelato very seriously. Further tests however may need to be done to confirm this theory.

4pm Hmm it’s sorta hot out…my throat is so dry… are you tired? Hey Matt I think I’m getting some color! Wow… I’m kinda tired… I can’t believe we drank so much wine this morning, what were we thinking? Oh hey is that Cliff and Jill over at that bar?” “Hey Jill!!!…Okay sure we’ll be right over!”

5pm duo vino
6pm duo vino
7pm duo beer-ay

8pm anyone want some pasta? Sandy you look a little red.
9pm wow sandy…you’re kinda red I think you got a little burn.
10pm Holy shit sandy, I think you’re on fire.

Go to Italy...you will like. :)
Ciao!

Happy Birthday to me :)

2005-04-22T11:30:00.000-04:00

Sorry can’t be bothered with links this week.

Wow what a week it's been. Last Friday Soph came into town and the weekend did not disappoint. Friday the group of us headed to this Latin American Restaurant in Park Slope called Coco Rocco; a last minute decision since the first place we tried to make reservations for was booked due to Brooklyn Restaurant week. But the food at Coco Rocco kicked ass and I had this killer steak with chimichurri sauce and fried plantains, a close second to my favorite fried food, sweet potato fries. After a lot of sangria and some impromptu dancing in the streets, as you do when you drink a lot of sangria, we headed to a show at Southpaw. We left sorta early because everyone was tired and full. I have to say though 5th Ave in Park Slope has changed so much since Charity and I lived near there in 2000. It's absolutely gorgeous now and has become like a mini-restaurant row. I am planning to have a walk around there on Sunday to recover from my party. Soph came over late night and we managed to get so silly I'm not sure we were making sense most of the time. When Soph and I get together I almost feel like we sometimes revert back to college and next thing I know I'm laughing until my face hurts and generally some sort of expressive dance in thrown in there.

Saturday we all met up to do some shopping in Soho. Charity was looking for a dress for her sister's wedding and Jules a silver sequined type clutch thinger. After a busy day of running around everywhere Soph and I bought some wine & cheese and kicked back at my place and ended up pretty much in the same state as the night before, matt included. At one point though he said something that just made me lose my shit.

Matt: Oh my god hon, you were so right this mineral water makes our countertops look awesome!
Me ( confused ) Mineral water?
Matt: yeah you said put mineral water on the counters because they're soapstone.
Me (starting to laugh) Matt... ha ha...I didn't say mineral water it was mineral OIL.
Matt: (dejected and looking at the bottle of Pellegrino in his hand) um...um....
Me: On the floor doubled over... Wow and you not only got mineral water but you gave our counters only the BEST sweetie, only the finest Italian mineral water for our counter tops! I was wondering why you bought that? I was thinking..."Wow Matt's really taking this yuppie thing seriously... he's buying Pellegrino now, damn."

He's gonna kill me for writing about this. (Hi matt...um...I love you.)

We stayed up late that night on the couch trying to shake off the giggles and watching really bad TV. And by bad TV let me introduce you to a little movie called "Super Volcano" Oh yes...you probably didn't know this but Yellowstone is about to blow up, uh huh…and when it does don't think you'll be safe here in NYC. Nope, because then the ash clouds will drift over and it will snow ash. But this isn't ordinary ash this is volcano ash, that when mixed with the mucus in your lungs (ew.) turns to cement and your lungs explode or something. Why do I know this because they must have stated this in the movie like 3 times. If we were playing a drinking game I would have been wasted off the amount of times they explained what volcanic ash does to your lungs...after a while I started to get punchy and make bets on when they were going to explain it again. Then I got really punchy and it sounded like everything they were saying had some veiled sexual meaning.

“ So it’s going to erupt?”
“ Right now it is just a matter of minutes before it erupts and when it does there will be magma spilling everywhere.”
“ Yes but you’ve predicted eruptions before and then… nothing happened?”
“ I know but this time it’s different, trust me it’s not a matter of IF it will erupt but WHEN…these pulsating waves (of pleasure baby yeeeeeeah) can tell us a lot.”

As I curled into a shaking ball of giggles my friends just stared at me amused and yet frightened. But I figured it was sort pointless to try to explain.

We ended the weekend by going to the Japan Society, which had an exhibit that looked like what I would assume a bad acid trip would feel like. But it was super interesting and Julie and I kept trying to take “illegal” pictures with all the weird life sized Japanese anime figures. Then headed to a BBQ at Matt and Anna’s where I had the best hamburger I’ve ever had at a BBQ in my life.

The week was relatively uneventful, work was slow and it was nice to be able to leave work on time and come home make dinner and relax with Matt who also had a slow week. We booked our hotel in Florence, which is cool. Tonight Matt, Julie and I are going to have dinner at place on Smith Street called Chestnut. Julie has Passover tomorrow so she can’t make it to the party. I’m so excited for tomorrow! It will be cool to have everyone over to the new apt. I’m also excited for Matt to meet some of my friends and their boyfriends that he hasn’t met yet. The night should be fun. I only hope we can fit everyone in the apt.

God this is long but one more thing, hey…you made this far…did I mention I’m turning 30? But Matt told me 30 is the new 20 so I’m gonna go with that. Besides you can be immature all your life! Right on.

What a difference a day makes.

2005-04-15T14:19:00.000-04:00

This week has been insane. I've worked on average till 12am every night and nearly lost it one night working till 3am. But it's Friday and my friend Soph is here visiting from SF (Hi Soph!) and I couldn't be more excited for the weekend! I also just got my first paycheck with the raise and it's more then I had calculated so shopping tomorrow with the girls is really going to be fun. I'm actually looking to score some things for my trip to Italy in May. I'm all about getting cute summery skirts.

Tonight we have reservations here and then we're off to see a show here. I'm looking forward to just hanging out, drinking and catching up with some of my most favorite people. Much needed after a week of complete and utter stress. Yesterday was cool though being recognized for getting promoted. Although I fucking cracked up when I heard that my CD had made an announcement to the whole office that I got promoted and apparently everyone on my floor stood up and clapped only to realize that I actually wasn't at my desk. Classic.

My friend Anna wrote a post a few weeks back talking about all the things she's excited for and being that I'm in such a great mood I figured it seems appropriate. Although I'd like to add things in general I'm happy about.

1. Trip to Italy! I'll be going here for a wedding and then traveling here and here.
2. My birthday! Matt has some "surprise" in the works, which is both incredibly sweet and somewhat frightening. But I'm excited and since several people are in on it I am just gonna go with the flow on this one.
3. Chilling with my girls this weekend, lot's of late night stoned conversations and laughing till we can't breath.
4. Planning my sister's bacholorette party, I would talk about it but she reads this from time to time (Hi Erin!) so she's just going to have to wait and see. It's gonna be very creative though *insert evil laugh*
5. A weekend that Matt doesn't have to work. This is truly a beautiful thing; I look forward to sleeping in and generally being slothful together.
6. Shopping...okay okay I know I mentioned that above but it's been soooooooooooo long since I've been able to do this and much worked for so I'm so psyched.
7. My sister's wedding in July, okay it's a ways off but seriously I can't even tell you how psyched I am for this. 2 of my favorite people, getting married in the most gorgeous place on Cape Cod, with incredible food, family and friends it is going to be amazing.
8. Getting a manicure and pedicure...another thing I rarely treat myself to but feel like I earned this week so I'm gonna enjoy that bitch.
9. The fact that the move is finally behind me and I'm loving where I live. Last weekend I took a walk around my neighborhood taking pictures. It's just a beautiful part of Brooklyn with so many hidden cool places to go. I can't wait to get happy hour drinks with Anna and co. some night and explore some of the surrounding bars. Especially in the summer!
10. Warm weather, drinks outside, all the college kids leaving, late nights of drinking and dancing, backyard BBQ's (Sheri I can't wait!!!) Roof parties, movies outside and falling in love with NYC all over again.

Have a good one.

Springtime in New York

2005-04-04T17:41:00.000-04:00

It's that time of year again.

Longer days and milder weather. Fresh cut flowers, drinks outside with your friends and the nut jobs out wondering the streets fresh from their winter hibernation.

It's spring time in New York.

It’s been quite a week of total insanity. No I mean literally. I have yet to experience a ‘normal’ subway commute if that is possible in NYC since moving to the new apt. This past week saw a definite increase in unstable characters gravitating a little too close to my personal space. Which isn’t to say some of it hasn’t been mildly entertaining at times but damn what was up with all the crazies coming out of the woodwork last week?

There was the seemingly ‘normal’ looking guy who sat next to me on the 6 train and then proceeded to talk to the person in front of him about the Ford Modeling agency. Oh wait a minute there wasn’t a person in front of him it was just an empty bench.

“Oh yeah I know the Ford Modeling agency. I used to work there.”

(I shift in my seat and look at the empty bench in front of us. “Is he on the phone maybe?” I am confused.)

“Oooooohhh weeeee back in the day, them girls where hot!”

(Okay totally not on the phone because um…we’re in the subway. Just completely insane. Nice.”)

“ Hey I see you but I am not going to look at you. No…no no no I’m not looking at you. *giggles* Well I’m not. You can look at me all you want but I’m not looking at you, * giggles again* you is a funny one aren’t you. * Suddenly gets annoyed at invisible person* Stop looking at me fucker! Yes I know who they are…well of course I do! Well fuck you then.”

At this point frustrated by his imaginary friend he got up and walked towards the end of the train, careful to look back once or twice and give a few dirty looks in the direction of the empty bench. Then he eventually settled down next to a middle-aged businessman to continue his conversation with the air.

Yesterday after trying to make it to this. I walked into a Deli to get money out of the ATM when a woman yelled over to me.

“ Your dogs okay!”

Assuming she wasn’t talking to me, as I do not have a dog I continued at the ATM.

“I said your dog is okay!”

This time I looked over.

“ Yeah dogs don’t care. They don’t talk to you. *Beginning to get emotional* they won’t leave you a tip… they just don’t fucking care!”

Come to think of it a dog has never left me a tip either.

And these were only a select few. There was tourette's man in front of Barnes and Noble who barked at people as they walked in. The creepy guy that walks up and down Court street telling people to save their toilet paper and save the environment. Not exactly sure how doing one thing helps the other. And last but not least the crackhead begging for money on the 4 train, who proceeded to get down on her knees and yell ‘devil-bitch!’ at the poor woman sitting next to me. Although that was kinda funny.

Ahhh spring time in New York City!

The Crates

2005-03-31T16:58:00.000-05:00

crates3
Originally uploaded by Redheadbrooklyn.

I was really busy at work I swear. But they were just sitting there. All piled up in the corner of the office. And I knew they longed to be something more then just office moving crates.

Yuppified

2005-03-21T11:37:00.000-05:00

After a relatively painless move-in on Saturday afternoon, Matt and I got to work on setting up our new digs. This proved a little challenging at times though because we tend to have duplicate items and our own opinions on what should go where. Luckily it's really easy to figure out when Matt doesn't like something because he either

A. Phrases it as a question. Like...

Matt: So hmmm... do you think the coffeemaker should go there?
Me: Yes.
Matt: Do you think it makes more sense though to maybe put it here?
Me: Um...no, not really, I like it where it is.
Matt: I'm just thinking that it might make more sense here though, so we can keep the counter area clean you know?
Me: *gives annoyed look* We have so much counter space Matt and I really like it here plus I put the coffee filters in this drawer. See? So convenient! * Makes mock 50's housewife pose*
Matt: OK. I was just thinking it could go here though and here's why...

*Sandy goes to another place in her mind for 45 seconds*

Me: Okay but I still like it here.

Or

B. Sneakily moves something.

Me: Matt where are my pots and pans? I just put them in this cabinet 5 minutes ago? Only yours are in there.

Matt: (Innocently) Oh I put them up there for you sweetie.

Me: (Looks up at the cabinet that is like 4 feet above my head in confusion) Um...Matt, I’ll never be able to use them if they are way up there. *I start flinging myself in the air like salmon* I can't even reach that high. *Still flailing around* what's wrong with my pans?

Matt: Nothing.

Me: Then why did you exile them then?

Matt: I didn't exile your pans, I just thought that we had too many in that cabinet so I moved some of them.

Me:Hmm...Interesting how you happened to conveniently move only mine. *Sandy gives annoyed look and puts her pans back*

However, despite a few glitches here and there I am being completely honest when I tell you how much I love the apartment and still can't believe we live here. I also love the push and pull adjustment to living together. This melding of 2 separate lives. It seems like an odd thing to love, I know but there is just something so endearing to me about it all.

Oliver adjusted really well to the move. He spent exactly 2 hours in his igloo sulking and then ventured out for a stroll around the place. By the evening he was back to his old self, trying to eat my plants and begging for food. What a relief. Although he is acting exceptionally clingy lately following me everywhere. Over all though he seems really relaxed and happy.

Oliver isn't the only one settling in nicely I am currently really enjoying some things I've missed out on for a long time. Like...

A Dishwasher
This is truly a marvel of wonder. I haven't had a dishwasher since high school and I'm sure I never gave it the proper appreciation back then. I immediately started washing everything in sight. I think I might have a problem now because eventually I started putting very random things in there just to get the high from seeing it come out all clean and sparkly. I think I've literally run the dishwasher about 12 times since moving in. I must stop the madness people.

Wireless High-speed Connection
Oh my god do I love you. You are faster then work!

Cable
Not having cable for 6 years and being limited to 5 stations has caused me get overwhelmed with the channel choices and therefore abuse the remote control.

Welcome to Sandy's Short Attention Span Theatre where you will never have to see one show from beginning to the end ever again. Instead, why not flirt with about 5-6 shows at once? Check out our Sunday line up...

Approximately 6 minutes of HGTV's Designed to Sell, the part where the lady goes around, insulting everything about the couple's house while the couple gets really pissed off. How did the house turn out? I have no fucking clue.

10 minutes on E's True Hollywood Full House. Learn all about the Olsen Twins evil straight-to-video empire and Bob Sagget's potty mouth on the set and then flip to another channel when it goes to commercial...never come back.

Next up.... Animal Planet's Animal Cops: Miami. There are puppies in this episode so we will stick around a little longer then expected. You’ll get to see the part where the puppies are reunited with their mom. What separated them? No idea but aren't they cute?

Join us next time when we will be showing 4 minutes of The Fresh Prince of BelAir, Will teaches his rich cousins about...um...I dunno something and then something else happens then 7 minutes of Lifetime's Mother, May I sleep with danger? Tori Spelling will maybe sleep with danger but first she'll ask her mom or something and part of VH1's Best Week Ever.

I can't even begin to explain how happy I am with the apartment and sharing it with Matt. I literally find myself looking over at him all the time and feeling so grateful for how everything has turned out between us. However, I am mildly alarmed at how yuppified we've become. Particularly when the other night we found ourselves drinking wine and listening to music on his ipod, while we gazed out our enormous windows at a very beautiful Brooklyn skyline...

as we ordered from freshdirect.

um. yeah.

Preparation

2005-03-17T11:28:00.000-05:00

I was a bit disappointed in Top Model's BIG SECRET that I was told specifically by the TV voiceover man on UPN that I would be totally unprepared for. But you see I had sussed it out already. I WAS PREPARED for this 'BIG TOP MODEL SECRET'. I had figured it all out days ago really. It was obvious.

Michelle was a man.

Baby.

A man!

But when the show revealed she was just bisexual and afraid of footwear I did feel sorta unprepared I guess, for feeling jipped. Because I had really been counting on her being a man. Not even Rebecca passing out made me feel better. Although the look on the face of the crazy-eyed one Christina was priceless. Naima is still my favorite so far.

Anyway last night was fun though. Thanks Kat for hosting Top Model night. It has to be said I am mildly disturbed I went through almost an entire pack of cigs in 4 hours and ate 4 of those mini cannolies. Although I was pleasantly surprised when I woke up this morning without a hangover. Nice. Sheri I'll see what I can do about having a Top Model Finale pool party at my apartment.

I figure all of that drinking last night makes up for the fact that I really need to finish packing tonight and therefore will probably not be celebrating St. Patrick's Day properly in bar tonight. My friends in Ireland would be so disappointed in me.

As I looked around at all of the boxes it dawned on me this was one of the last nights I'd be spending in this place. Maybe it was because of the 5 glasses of wine or the fact Michelle wasn't a man but I started to feel a little sad. If I was hit sitcom, this would be about the time when little squiggly lines would come in and I'd take you back in time and relive all my most memorable moments spent in that apartment. Strangely enough though, it's not so much the happy times I will remember fondly but the sad ones, the ones that changed me for the better and forced me to become the person I am today.

But I won't queue the squiggly lines this time because as important as those memories are to me, it's time to make some new ones to take their place.

It's time to move on, both literally and figuratively.

It's time to embrace what will be and let what has been...

go.

Not forgotten. Never forgotten.

So this is where I am folks. Exactly 2 days from moving on to a brand new stage of my life; full of uncertainty but guided by my faith.

And who is ever really feel prepared for that.

Farewell my home part 2

2005-03-15T14:56:00.000-05:00

I really need to start thinking of better titles then Part 2.

Farewell my Home: Partie Deux
Farewell my Home: The Next Chapter.
Farewell my Home. This time it's personal.

Okay forget it.

Last night I cooked up a nice steak. I'm did this mainly because I am determined to use the last of my Peter Lugar steak sauce. The idea of moving and throwing out a half a bottle of what I like to refer to as liquid heaven, is just too much for me to bear. On the other hand I'm not really a ‘bring half your refrigerator to your new apartment’ kinda girl either. I like fresh starts and new salad dressings ( I seem to collect them) and I'm not really sure how long things will sit out with the move and I'm so over explaining this...let's just move on shall we?

Right, right so after an amazing steak dinner I got to work on taking my bed apart and going through all the crap underneath it. I'm throwing out a ton of cd cases. After a while I got really fast at taking the paper insides out and tossing the plastic cases in the bin. This mindless work enabled me to think about what I wouldn't miss about Williamsburg and so with that very obvious seg way I bring you, Sandy's ‘What I won't miss about living in Williamsburg.’

1.The 100 screaming, yelling, fighting shithead highschoolers who walked by my apt 2 times a day to and from school.

I want to thank you for throwing a bottle at my head while I was walking into the subway. How did you know I felt like a diet coke that morning? I must say I won't really miss the way you harassed everyone who walked by you and threw trashcans in the street. I also realized that all 100 of you are obviously hearing impaired as you all talked at A VERY LOUD VOLUME LIKE ALL THE TIME...LIKE TO THE POINT I COULD’NT EVEN HEAR MY TV. But really now, is "Fuck you bitch I'm gonna fucking beat yo'ass’ and droppin the N-bomb really appropriate for 7 in the morning? I can't even begin to tell you how glad I am to not be living anywhere near your school or any school anymore.

2. Planet Thai *warning do not read if you want to still eat here*

We had a really nice relationship for a while. Sure you were Thai food but in the beginning you were basically one of the few restaurants out there in the Burg' and your large factory-like artsy interior and cheap food won me over immediately. But like a child actor you matured into a dysfunctional adult. Letting your fame ‘change’ you. You started abusing your name and just stopped caring. First it was little things like slightly under cooked chicken pad Thai and over fried spring rolls but the day I ordered Chicken Tempura and it came with a little fried creepy friend hanging on, well I'm sorry it had to end. I will be going to Joya on Court Street from now on.

3. Vinyl siding

You were everywhere, it's like you threw up all over Williamsburg and spread like a bad VD from house to house. I dunno who told you that you look good but...no… you're ugly, really really ugly. What happened here? Park Slope doesn't have you. Manhattan wouldn't be caught dead with you and I think maybe someone's been living a little too close to Queens. You are BROOKLYN dammit, remember that. What can I say, I'm disappointed in you.

4.Scary unnecessarily mean Polish Laundromat

Okay now I understand that working in the laundry mat was probably not your life's dream but you guys would just blow up at everyone for no apparent reason. There was the girl who was laughing with her friend and you yelled at her to go outside even though it was raining. The guy who lost all his quarters in one of your crappy 20-year-old machines and you just screamed at him in Polish. It was like the Soup Nazi in there. Put your clothes in washer. Put your quarters in. Keep your eyes looking down and step to the side slowly then wait exactly 2 minutes slowly walk out of there. Also did I mention you sucked? Well you sucked. How do you say you suck in Polish? I've never been so happy in my life to have laundry in the building now.

5. The hoards of NYU hipster babies who walk past my window at 4:30 on a fucking Tuesday night loud and wasted and then proceed to puke outside my gate.

Dude, you are all starting to look like Ashley Simpson and it's really making me wanna La la lose it.

6. My lack of closet space. Now my vacuum cleaner will finally have home.

7. The ratio of shitty restaurants to good ones.

For every good restaurant in Williamsburg there are about 3 that suck and yet somehow manage to stay open. I have no idea why this is? Can someone explain Vera Cruz to me?

8. Tops Grocery Store

Okay your produce was pretty good and not so expensive and you have a decent cheese selection...but you are lacking in some serious essentials. Like...Vanilla Coffeemate, huh? What's that about? You have fucking Hazelnut and Amaretto. ( and by the way ew.) So where's Vanilla? Huh? And while we are listing things not there...what about ground pork? You have a fucking Meat Packing place right next to you and yet you don't sell ground pork? How exactly is that possible? Now my meatballs are lifeless. I'm too upset to go on.

9. Useless, overpriced, artsy stores that I rarely went into

Sure you looked nice and had some cool things, but unless I wanted to buy a t-shirt for $80.00 there was really no point.

10. Not being able to have packages shipped to my home address.

Ah the joys of a de-lux-apartment in the sky and a doorman. My desk at work need no longer be a graveyard of Urban Outfitters and Barnes and Noble boxes

Farewell my home.

2005-03-11T15:03:00.000-05:00

How I am going to pack up 5 years worth of crap into several seemingly small boxes is a mystery to me. 3 people have offered to help me pack, which is pretty cool although I must say I was quite surprised and then it dawned on me. Oh god they really know me too well.

It's been quite an ordeal preparing for this move. Hiring movers who will move 2 apartments in one day. Finding a storage place that will fit all of our crap. Having to sign 14 places on one lease, but I think the hardest part for me will be leaving what has been my home for the last 5 years. Williamsburg, Brooklyn

Last night I started to think of all the things I would miss about my old home. Here is what I came up with.

Sandy's What I will Miss About Living in Williamsburg Brooklyn

1.The Williamsburg Cafe.

I love you Williamsburg Cafe. You were there for me when I was drowning in a Sea of Thai restaurants. You introduced me to Sweet Potato fries and I will always love you for that. You had a really cheap brunch and the best sangria I've ever had. Thank you Williamsburg Cafe for being... well...not Thai.

2. Cool Deli guy on N.7th & Bedford.

I'll miss you cool deli guy on N.7th and Bedford. You always asked me how I was and you actually sounded like you cared. It’s like you could see into my soul. You didn't even mind once when I was 25¢ short for Vanilla Coffeemate. Which was really important to me, because I love vanilla Coffeemate maybe more then God and I didn't have my ATM card on me that day so it could have been a really awful day. But it wasn't because of you Cool Deli Guy.

3. The Abby bar.

You were my friend during good times and bad. You were so fucking convenient too. Sometimes you gave me too much to drink though and I'd spend hours puking my guts out the next day but I know you didn't mean it.

4. The People at Reeltime Video.

You guys were always so cool. You never judged me even when I'd rent something like, oh I dunno...The Princess Diaries and that's a special thing.

5.Pete's Candy Store

You and I go way back. Remember when I'd come to your Trivia Night and totally lose like…big time…like embarrassingly so? In summers you had the best back garden ever and you hosted so many of my friend's bands. When you started offering pressed Paninis it was almost like you knew that when I’m wasted I suddenly want one...that's so weird. But it was awesome. I highly recommend the Turkey with Chutney, Mayo and lettuce. Good job Pete's Candy Store, you were neither a store or offered candy but I will never hold that against you.

6. L Train

I know… I know the last few months have been, well… problematic between us. So many times I needed you and you weren't running. Sure you left me notes saying you'd be unavailable all weekend but I never read them and well...it hurt. But when you were running, God you were beautiful. 5 minutes to Union Square! 20 minutes to work! I will miss that.

7. Anytime Cafe

What can I say? You were there for me literally, anytime. Like that one time I called you wasted at 4am and wanted a grilled chicken sandwich and tator tots and that other time it was 2am and I was wasted and I felt like some mozzarella sticks and chicken fingers? And that time I came back from a bar wasted and called you and ordered I don't remember because I was wasted and then passed out before you came and woke up at 7:30 feeling really bad and afraid you'd blacklist my number but you didn't. That was awesome. Thanks. Would you consider a move to Cobble Hill?

8.McCarren Park

Even though you looked sorta sketchy at night and were taken over by Mexican immigrant families of 50 playing soccer and hipsters playing really awkward games of softball during the day. You were the trees and grass I so desperately needed in a world of bad vinyl siding.

9.Studio Apt

God where do I begin...first of all...you and I were a perfect fit from the start. It was like you knew how much shit at Ikea I was gonna buy. And you didn't have bugs?!!! A Brooklyn apartment without roaches! I thought it was an urban myth but it turns out no…it’s my apartment. That alone was worth the rent I paid you. Speaking of, you never charged me more rent in my 5 years of living there when I think of that I feel well...almost teary.

10. My friends

You have been my family when mine was too far away. My support during some rough times. You were company when I felt lonely. You made being single and living alone bearable at times when it was not easy and I love you for that. Most of all, you were fucking convenient...fuck... you better cart your asses over to my new hood and visit me...cuz for Christ's sake people I'm moving like fucking 10 minutes away. You can take a freakin' car service. Okay??? Okay Sandy loves you. Please visit. Okay bye.

List of things I won’t miss to follow.

Part 2: Fun with Fisher Price

2005-03-09T14:57:00.000-05:00

After the bus ride from hell, I took the subway another 45 minutes out to Braintree MA where my sister picked me up. I felt bad it was so late. Total travel time, 6hrs and 36 minutes not including the 20-minute car ride to Duxbury. I felt guilty I was so late coming in. As if I had any control over it. My sister is a mom now and is very into schedules. So I was worried I might have thrown off her schedule for Robbie. Luckily he was already in bed when we got home. We stayed up late talking and catching up. Until eventually Jen went to bed. Naturally at 1am I started doing my laundry. This is what happens when you live in NYC and don't have a washer and drier. You will cart your dirty clothes across 3 states to wash them for free and yet you will avoid going to the laundry mat that is a block away from your freakin' apartment for weeks until one morning you are faced with wearing either

A. The same jeans for the 7th time that are now so loose they make your ass look like you crapped your pants.

Or

B. A reject outfit. A reject outfit is a pair of pants or a shirt that was an impulse buy or something you used to wear when you were skinnier and now you can't decide if it looks retarded. So instead it sits in your bottom drawer or smooshed in your closet mocking you every time you look at it. My reject outfit is a pair of jeans that are a little too high waisted for my liking. They can only be paired with a long sweater even though to the naked eye nobody would think they were highwaisted, that doesn't matter because I know and if I think about too long I get freaked out and have to take them off and then back in the drawer they go.

So I did my laundry and watched this reality show on TBS called "Faking It” which was about this girl who wanted to be a swimsuit model but she was this shy, sorta average looking girl from somewhere out in the Midwest. The idea is that she'd have these people coaching her on how to be a swimsuit model all week and a makeover and then she'd go up against real swimsuit models in a contest and the judges had to figure out who they thought was faking it. If she fooled them, then she won. Which she did. I really don't know why I started talking about this.

At this point is was super late so decided to go to bed. I closed my eyes and listened to the hum of Robbie's humidifier in the room next to mine. I pulled the covers way up to my chin, so I was wrapped papoose -style. And thought how nice it was to be away from NYC.

It was so quiet.

6:15am

I woke to the sound of a screaming crying toddler and glanced down at my cell phone. Oh God. I've been asleep for 3 1/2 hours.

Dear God what is up with my neck? Caaan't tuuurn it to the riiighooouch! Oh please please please go back to bed Robbie...please...your Auntie Sandy drank way to much wine the other night and then endured the bus trip from hell and she's very cranky and now she can't turn her head to the right and she hasn't had a cigarette in 36 hours now because when she goes home she doesn't smoke anymore...Hmm...wonder if Jen hears him... Oh man I feel like death...must sleep, why did I stay up watching Faking It? That's a great show though. Please Robbie go back to sleep??? Please...Oh yes! heh heh Jen is up...woooow she's good...he totally stopped. I love his little munkin voice. My sister is amazing. *yawn* I wa....zzzzzzzzz

8:32am

No Robbie that's the doggies. Robbie no. No Robbie no…no Robbie... *insert tantrum* Okay someone needs a nap come on let's go upstairs.

No, no, no, I need a nap Jen I need a nap.

*Screaming continues then a barely inaudible "mah mah mah mah noooo mah mah" *more crying*

I know punkin; you are tired I can tell.

Why yes I am, you see I only got 6 hours of sleep and well you know I'm not really good with that I'm more of a 8 or 12 hours girl you know?...Oh you're talking to Robbie.

Oh god forget it I need to just get up.

After several cups of coffee and some scrambled eggs I was feeling a little more like myself. Jen brought Robbie down from his mid morning nap and asked if I could watch him while she got everything ready for the trip to my parents house. Robbie is a little over a year and walking now. When he walks he looks wasted. His favorite thing is when I hang him upside down from his feet and when I run ahead of him, hide behind a wall and then jump out and scare the living shit out of him. Both send him into giggle fits like I've never seen. I keep telling him that in a few more years he's not going to think that's so funny and if he starts doing that to strangers he'll be arrested. I think he understands.

When my sister was done she joined Robbie and I in his playroom. We started talking about Fisher Price Peoples and how different they look now. My older sister Jen used to create entire worlds with Fisher Price Peoples. It was like a Fisher Price Soap Opera that as a kid I loved to tune into every day. It had returning characters, love affairs and deaths. It was our own personal One Fisher Price Life to Live.

Now Fisher Price Peoples were huge and had arms. Since when do Fisher Price Peoples have arms? And since when can did they stop making the small enough to choke on? I mean honestly, it's a wonder I survived.

I noticed that one of the Peoples was a farmer...and he was carrying a sac of what was supposed to be grain but it looked like he was packing an ounce on him. Robbie was mesmerized with the Peoples especially when you made them talk and move. So I decided to make up a little story for him.

" Why Hullooo Robbeh! I'm Farmer Doo-bie... I like to grow weeed Robbeh...because I'm all alone on this here ranch and there's nothin' else to do but get wassted you know what I mean Robbeh? Farmer Doobie needs some friends here... maybe a lady friend."

My sister lay curled up on the rug in fits of laughter. I'm glad she has a good sense of humor. I'm also glad Robbie hasn't really learned to talk yet.

Part 1. Peterpan Bus, a neverland I never want to go to again.

2005-03-08T16:23:00.000-05:00

I worked out that this weekend involved more travel time then actual family time. Which generally could be construed as a good thing for some people but I was actually looking forward to going home. However, I feel a little like the hamster that gets into their wheel and thinks...

"This time man, this time it's gonna be different. This time I'm gonna bust out of here and it's gonna be awesome!...run run run...
Hmm...still in front of my dish...run run...dish still there...run...run...*sigh* Well I guess I could go for a sunflower seed and a nap."

I kinda get that Norman Rockwell vision of home. Like my mom is suddenly going to greet me at the door with an apple pie or a margarita (Okay it's my home fantasy people) and we'd have lobster and then go clamming in wooly Irish knit sweaters. It's a vision that maybe not everyone shares of 'home' but mine nonetheless.

Anyway, after leaving work early and then walking 10 blocks in the freezing cold to finally get a cab and 2 security searches later, I found myself a seat on the bus and started reading my magazine. The bus was filling up pretty fast so I did what I always do before a long bus ride where it is obvious I will not be able to sit alone. I blatantly judged the passengers coming towards me down the isle and gave dirty looks to anyone who looked.

a. Creepy
b. Smelly
c. Desperate for conversation

All things that drive me insane on a long bus trip. See... I once spent 4 hours on a bus stuck in the most boring conversation about computers of all things with a large Asian man with body odor, a heavy accent and a lisp. He kept re-introducing himself to me every time he wanted to get my attention again after I would manage to sneak my headphones on.

"Hi...yes...so you isp in computerssss? No?

"What? I'm sorry, I HAD MY HEADPHONES ON."

"Hi...see you have a computers. You like computers... No?"

" Well yes I use one???"

"Ah yes...me too ha ha. I aw-soo work wiff computersss"

" Wow..ha ha..cool."

*Puts headphones on*

"Hi...hi..What type of computers do you hasve?"

*Takes off earphones*

"Um a Mac..Yeah. Which is why I love my ipod... yup... I like to just you know, listen to music on long bus trips like this. Maybe catch some sleep."

"Oh I don't likes Macsszz...no no no....no good dis Macszzz."

*sigh*

And so started the most boring, socially awkward conversation in the history of the Peterpan Bus Co. It lasted from Exit 8 on the Mass turnpike till right around the time I wanted to hurl myself out the window somewhere in New Haven CT. Only interrupted by my futile attempts at trying to put my headphones on and the flatulence problem of man in the seat in front of us. Peterpan Magic...I tell you.

So that's why it's important to stare down every undesirable that walks down the isle. But you can't get too greedy because if you let too many walk by you, you just dunno who you could end up sitting next to. So I generally have a type I look for in sharing my bus riding experience.

1.Female.
2.Between the ages of 24-44. Anyone younger is bound to talk on the phone the entire time to her boyfriend, friend in Somerville, roommate, sister, guy friend whom she's seeing under the false pretense of it just being a friendly visit and not a desperate college cross-country booty call.) Anyone older might want to talk to me.

Only sometimes this blatant stereotyping doesn't work, you know? Go figure right? Maybe I was the one judged;karmically judged. I will never know but it didn't work.

Here's how it didn't work.

1.The girl next to me talked non-stop from the bus terminal to the last toll on the mass pike. I know...she was going to see her ex but was worried about his new girlfriend. She hates his new girlfriend and she's fat. The girlfriend, not my seat 'buddy'. That she doesn't like this girl Hemma and thinks they should all forget to invite her out to the club and they can pretend nobody had her cell number...and lots more. Fascinating!

2.The guy in front of me got into a 10 min fight with the bus driver over not letting him get off in Newton rather then Boston South station.
The same guy proceeded to call everyone on his phone and talk at high volume about how FUCKED UP PETERPAN BUS IS! Then pushed his seat into my lap and fell asleep.

3.Then my ipod died while in heavy stop-and-slam-into-the-seat-in-front-of-you traffic in Danbury CT, approximately 3 hours from our destination or with traffic 5.

4.The bus was so hot that I had a t-shirt on and I was still sweating, then I lost the ability to swallow and I think I hallucinated but I'm not sure. Can gummy bears talk?

5. The ghetto fabulous couple in back of me started making out and I could literally hear their saliva switching around in their mouth. Ew. Then she's get all mad at him yo... and randomly start yelling "Noooooooo Jeeeesus...what the fuck yo? That iz so messed up, no it ain't funny yo." *insert laughing and kicking seat* Then they made up. *More saliva noises.* Then they fought. Then they made up... Repeat...20 million times in 5 hours.

When we finally pulled into South Station 2 hours late, I nearly ran out of there and embraced a stranger I was so happy to be off that bus.

We now return you to your previously scheduled programming

2005-03-01T16:10:00.000-05:00

Dear god have I been busy. I apologize to some of you. I had something to do after work almost every day last week and work literally took over my life this past week. But it was worth it because I'm really getting to do some very cool stuff and have been given a lot of responsibility lately which is real nice albeit a bit stressy at times. However, it seemed like I averaged about 4 hours of sleep every night, which culminated into me being a complete zombie by last Friday for a friend's birthday party. When I get really tired I do weird things like lose my sense of depth perception and walk into the corner of a wall. (check) Say entire sentences that clearly make sense in my mind but apparently not to anyone else. (check) Or better yet completely replace entire words with other completely random words because I happen to be thinking about a certain word, which is always fun. (check) I also will lose a thought seconds after I've opened my mouth in a meeting and then spend the next 3 minutes rambling about I have no idea what (check) or my personal favorite from last week, walk directly into a pole in the subway station while trying to get something out of my bag. Hot.

Side note I'm listening to Cities of Dust by Siouxsie and The Banshees and it's completely bringing me back to high school. Fucking great song. Any moment I might have to break out my wicked awesome Marshfield Masshole accent. Ahh high school...but I digress.

I'm heading home to my roots this weekend although my parents live on Cape Cod now but I will be stopping into to De-lux-bury MA to see my older sister, husband and baby Robbie. Aside from the prospect of knowing I have to take the PeterPan bus to get there, I'm pretty stoked.

So I like to make sure I have the bare essentials for a long bus trip from hell...such things as...

US Weekly I like US Weekly because it has pictures of "fat" celebrities and shows me when plastic surgery goes wrong, which is important because otherwise I might be jealous of thier lives. I also like it because it's important to me to know what Paris Hilton's text messages were. Obviously.

Star magazine Now I know what you're thinking..." But Sandy Star magazine is the same as US Weekly." Um...no it's not. If I didn't read star I wouldn't know that Brad and Jen were getting divorced, yeah....put that in your pipe and smoke it. Which I can't speak for you guys but this greatly impacts my life. I mean GOD,if those two kids can't make it? Who can? Oh Jen,Hollywood is a cruel mistress.

Then I like to bring a book, because after part of my brain has rotted away from reading those magazines and I'm tired of seeing fuzzy, partically obstructed distance shots it's important for me to replace some of those brain cells. Unfortunately, I just finished reading this and don't have a book lined up. Any suggestions?

Next it's important to have some junk food goodness with you. I like doritos.

Water.

Ipod with special drive to Boston mix.

Here is mine. Sandy's Peterpan Fungus-bus Mix

Blasphemous Rumours- Depeche Mode
Hit- The Sugarcubes
There's No Other Way -Blur
I Wanna Be Adored - The Stone Roses
Cities in Dust- Siouxsie and The Banshees
How Do You Say...Love - Deee-Lite
What You Waiting For?-Gwen Stefani
Warm Road -Benzos
So Broken- Bjork
Head over heels -Cocteau Twins
Sooner or Later- The English Beat
Cottonwool (Lamb remix)-Fila Brazillia
Naked In The City Again -Hot Hot Heat
Heaven- Lamb
This Charming man- The Smiths
Spitting Games- Snow Patrol
The Vanishing- Stars
One in a Lifetime- Talking Heads
Blanket-Urban Species
My Generation- The Who
The Promise- When In Rome
Distractions- Zero 7
Criminal-Fiona Apple
Poison-Prodigy
Nowhere Again- The Secret Machines

Here's to Good times on the PeterPan Bus.

I'm ready for a little trip home after such a crazy week though. My lungs are still recovering from Wednesday night. Damn Top Model requires a lot of smoking. I think one of the cooler moments of the night was when Anna's friend Sheri started telling me about a funny story she read on a blog about a girl moving into her first apartment and midway through I realized she was talking about my blog ha ha. (Hi Sheri!) It was great having everyone over and I'm looking forward to having a bigger place to host these things. It was a bit crowded in the ol'studio. It was also cool to catch up with friends I hadn't seen all week and get caught up on the latest. We’ll do it again :) More wine next time.

I already have my Top Model favorites, so far it's her and her we'll see how it turns out.

I'll be in Boston this weekend so doubtful I'll post till Monday. Have a good one!

Busy Busy

2005-02-28T20:13:00.000-05:00

It's been hectic. I have a post in the works for tomorrow :) Off to brave the snow.

Everything in it's right place?

2005-02-21T14:40:00.000-05:00

Friday night Matt came to my place in a car service to pick me up so we could hang in his neighborhood, which in a month will be my neighborhood too now. It made sense seeing as we needed to stop by the new apt in the morning to drop off the last of our papers before Matt would have to go into work. As we walked down Smith St. looking for a place to grab some dinner we got to talking about how cut throat people can be in our line of work.

"Matt just promise me you won't become THAT guy."
"What do you mean?"
"You know THAT guy...Mr. Cutthroat arrogant- puts other people down- takes his job so seriously he has no room for anything else in his life, like say...a hobby? and only going out to some lame overpriced "be seen” bar or restaurant - where they go with of course their work buddies to get tanked and to talk about how creative and cool they are when they really have no idea at all because they are so out of touch."
"Ha ha Sandy...don't worry I won't become THAT guy I promise.
"Okay."
"Oooooh hey you wanna go to Patois?"

I looked at Matt in mock horror, then totally burst out laughing, as did Matt. Instead we decided to go to the cheap Cuban restaurant across the street. Further cementing my love of empanadas and yucca chips. It was nice to just sit and geek out about the apt. It felt good to just eat, drink and laugh and shut everything else out. After a challenging work week for both of us but mainly him, I think we needed the break bad. We left full and and about a billion times more relaxed.

The next day we were able to sign the lease so now we are just figuring out our actual move-in date. Looking at the apt with fresh eyes was both exciting and nerve racking. There were cool things I never noticed before and of course things that I wasn't quite as excited about. But over-all it's pretty kick-ass and I'm excited to make it ours. It will be the first time I've ever had a dishwasher or disposal since living at home! So I am very very happy about not having to scrub dishes anymore. Having free cable w/ HBO will be pretty good too, as I've gone the last 6 years without cable.

Saturday my friend called me and invited Matt & I to dinner. Her boyfriend makes this roasted red pepper sauce that rocks! We hung out and polished off 3 bottles of wine. I've mentioned before I don't need a lot to feel happy and entertained. Basically good friends, good food and good conversation and I'm really happy. Things just got silly and I felt so wrapped up in the warm fuzzies of the night as we whirled our way home in a cab.

Sunday made me want to start fresh so I cleaned my apt and watched cooking shows all day making the usual mental notes in my head. My friend J called me, back in town from FL. We had lots to catch up on, so I invited her and everyone over for dinner. I decided to experiment with dinner and I think it came out really good. Here's what I came up with.

Sandy's Chipotle Chicken

Take thin slices of chicken breast, squeeze lime juice over them then dip in egg wash and lightly flour on each side.
(Season flour with red pepper, black pepper, salt and cumin)
Fry chicken about 3 mins on each side till almost cooked through, put on paper towel to drain. (Frying is a theme you will see again and again as I truly believe it is a very beautiful thing.)

In separate pan, melt 2-3 pats of butter or margarine.

Chop

2 shallots
2 cloves of garlic
1 yellow onion
2 tablespoons of cilantro
1 whole yellow pepper
1 whole red pepper
1/2 orange pepper
3-5 canned jalapeño peppers with about 1/3 of the can of juices.
1 tablespoon of chipotle pepper paste

Throw into pan and cook until soft.

Slowly add in about 3/4 of a can of chicken stock.
Then add chicken pieces back into pan.
Add slowly a small carton of heavy cream, stir, cook covered on medium for another 10 minutes.
Add more stock to thin sauce out, less if you want it thick, more jalapeño juice makes it hotter.

Add some cumin and red pepper to taste.

Serve over Mexican rice with a little melted grated chedder on top.

It's pretty damn good.

After dinner J and I stayed up for hours talking. J is one of those rare people I can talk to for hours and not know where the time went. I'm lucky I have friends like that. It was a pretty intense conversation actually and made me think a lot about my own shit. I can't help but bring shit back to me when I'm working out someone else's story in my head. It's not meant to be selfish it's just how my brain works. It's how I figure out my response or the advice I want to give, whatever it may be. I try to place myself in their shoes; I draw on my own experiences. I usually just don't want the person to feel alone. Sometimes one person's dilemma can set off a firestorm in my own head unbeknownst to them. I went to bed last night with one in my head or maybe it was the Chipotle chicken.

Gizoogalized

2005-02-18T17:05:00.000-05:00

My blog, Gizoogle style.

The Gates 2.13.05

2005-02-18T12:31:00.000-05:00

IMG_7427
Originally uploaded by Redheadbrooklyn.

The Gates testing...

Another reason to hate the phone.

2005-02-17T16:10:00.000-05:00

Yesterday I opened up my cell phone bill to discover what I first thought was a horrible mistake. How could I be $78.00 over? Who the hell did I talk to for so long, I don't even like the phone! So I scanned and scanned the numbers till I got to what seemed to be the obvious culprit.

My mom.

My mom had called me a few days ago from Florida on vacation with my Dad to tell me they had bought a house in Naples. (Fuck yeah! Girls you know where we are going!) And then to tell me about the dream she had about me.

Dreams are funny things. Ever notice the minute you have some crazy dream about someone you feel like you just have to tell them. And then the minute you start telling them they completely tune out? I mean you really want to believe they are as interested in it as you are but let’s face it hearing about someone's dream is well... boring. I'm not even sure why that is but somehow whenever someone starts out a sentence with, "OMG I had this dream last night and you were in it..." I almost would rather stick tiny hot forks into my eyes then listen to it. Another thing about dreams is what seemed to make complete sense in your head 5 minutes ago, is now something so abstract it can't really be put into words and yet you will try...or in this case my mother tried.

" Okay so I had this dream last night and you and I were driving...* insert story about how long the drive down to FL was with various substories including where they ate and what relatives they visited* I dunno where we were driving to but it was weird because we actually weren't in a car well it was a car but it didn't look anything like a car and well it was you but you looked totally different but I knew it was you, I dunno why I just did and then we were in our old livingroom *insert discription of new house in Naples. Naples the town, the weather down in Naples and the shell store they went to that day*...um...no....no wait...it was my old house growing up except it was green...Sandy are you listening?"

See, listening to another person's dreams is like listening to a person with ADD talk about their day. Lot's of unimportant details, several substories in addition to quite a few unconnected thoughts that really have nothing to do at all with their day but probably occurred to them while they were talking. I know this because I live this and if there is one thing an ADD person can't handle, it is talking to another person with ADD. Or in this case my mom.

I love my mom but I'm quite surprised that we haven't spontaneously blown up in some freak cosmic event that only occurs when you get too people into the same room who like to tell really overly detailed stories. My mom also is getting to that age when she tells me the same thing like 50 times. Who am I kidding she's always done that. But lately it seems to be getting more noticeable. But since I know I will do this someday too as I tend to already, I generally let her go on. Which is apparently what I did on January 12th 7:26 pm and exactly 34 minutes before my freakin free minutes kicked in. Good job Sandy.

My Valentine's Day Manifesto for Matt

2005-02-14T17:47:00.000-05:00

1. I believe you are one of the most creative individuals I've ever met.
2. I believe you are a lot more practical then me, thank god.
3. I believe my hair is in a very awkward stage right now and yet you still love me, which is a beautiful thing.
4. I believe our love is strong enough to overcome your strange taste in art.
5. I believe that art will end up in our bathroom.
6. I believe that Oliver might be just a little jealous of you.
7. I believe it's only accidental when you find his enormous ass on your face at 4am.
8. I believe if you feed him everyday though this all can be overcome quite quickly.
9. I believe you make me laugh harder then anyone I know.
10. I'm sorry that happens when we are fighting sometimes, it's just funny...I dunno why.
11. I believe in FRIENDSTER
12. I believe you are the kindest guy I've ever met and I'm lucky to have you in my life.
13. I believe those green pants you have are kinda short and I've noticed since I told you that you never wear them.
14. I believe you are just as silly as me.
15. I believe brunch never tasted so good until I met you.
16. I believe I love you more then cheese, sweet potato fries and steak with béarnaise sauce, which personally is saying a lot.
17. I believe you are very popular in my family.
18. I believe with TIVO our relationship can only grow stronger.
19. I believe we found the most kick-ass apt ever and I can't wait to move in!
20. Most of all, I believe I love you more then I've ever loved anyone.

Happy Valentine's Day Sweetie

Art Imitating Life.

2005-02-11T14:31:00.000-05:00

First let me point of that this is beautiful.

I have been researching a lot of websites lately for a project I'm working on.
Here are few more I recommend checking out if you're bored.

This guy is just insanely talented and he's just 23 years old.
I really like this website's fonts
Another site I'm really into.
And lastly a place to tell your secrets.

I think what I enjoy about all of them is they all have this element of the surreal. They aren't just websites but these little interactive worlds you can't help but get lost in. It's an art piece that is always changing.

Complex.
Beautiful.
Absurd.

Which is really what life is, right?

Tonight Matt and I are going to celebrate. The Apartment people called back and we have been accepted. I'm almost still in shock over the whole thing. I can't believe we are going to be living in such a beautiful apartment. I'm already ripping out decorating ideas from magazines. What can I say? I'm a girl. I love this shit.

Saturday I might have to stop into work for a bit and then Matt and I are going to check out this. Which seems very appropriate after this last week. I'll probably give my sister and Bill a call while we are in Central Park. Hanging out with both of them honestly makes me laugh so freakin' hard sometimes. It's just fun and I'm grateful they are here in NYC for a few more months at least.

There's so much going on lately it's been such a whirlwind but a good one so far.

This is short and sweet today.

Have a good weekend.

.

Cha cha cha changes

2005-02-09T20:46:00.000-05:00

For as long as I can remember. I have hated change. Even when I knew it represented something far better then the present. I can pretty much pinpoint in my mind every major turning point in my life.

1980. It's raining. I'm sitting in a Buick station wagon. I'm 5. I'm holding a clear plastic baggie filled with water housing a small goldfish. I am moving away and leaving my best friend in the whole world, Leslie. (Later Leslie would name her guinea pig Sandy, as a tribute to our friendship... *so beautiful, I know.* ) I was sure life as I knew it was over. Or so I thought.

We stayed in CT for 2 years, it wasn't that bad.

1993. It's summer. I'm using a pay phone in the lobby of a large towering dorm over looking Commonwealth Ave. It's Freshman Summer Orientation and I have decided after giving it some careful consideration that I actually don't want to go to BU anymore. It doesn't have any trees.

ME: "Hi"
MOM: " How is everything going?"
ME: "Um...okay...I guess."
MOM: "Are you having fun?"
ME: "Um, not really. Did Adam call?"
MOM: " No. Is everything okay?"
ME" Mom there aren't any trees. I don't think I want to go here anymore."
MOM: " *Insert mocking laugh* Well you're going because your father and I have already paid for your first semester Sandy."
ME: " But mom...there are like...NO trees. None. I've looked. And well... I really don't think I can go somewhere that doesn't have trees."
MOM: "Sandy."
ME: "Mom."
MOM: "Sandy."
ME: "No trees mom."
MOM: "You're going."

And I did and it was great. In fact I loved college so much it brings me to my next major change.

Leaving college.

Then...living on my own and first 'real' jobs.

Finally after 2 years in Boston it was moving to New York and then a year later living on my own in NY, without roommates for the first time ever.

1999. Late summer. I'm in a U-haul truck. Myself, my mom and dad are sitting in a very cramped front seat with a very large, very fluffy, very orange,VERY FAT and very drugged out cat named Oliver. Oliver is sitting on my lap like a person. (He does that a lot with or without drugs) The truck is winding through Brooklyn traffic. I feel hot and nauseous. I'm worried about Oliver; he's not looking so good. If a cat could actually look retarded, Oliver looks retarded. My mom however, looks terrified as we turn off the BQE towards my new humble abode in hipsterville.

ME: "Mom Oliver's drooling, do you think he's okay he looks wasted."
MOM: "What did the vet say?"
ME: "That it's a mild tranquilizer and he'll be groggy."
MOM: " Then he's probably ok. We'll give him some water when we get in. So this is your neighborhood?"
ME: "Yup."
MOM: "huh." (“Huh." for my mom means..." And you've lost your mind right?")
ME: "Mom it's safe."
MOM: " Well with so many bars on the windows it must be. *insert nervous sarcastic laugh*
ME: "Mom this is actually, like a really really coveted location."
DAD: "Susan your daughter is a hippie, you need to deal with it."
ME:" What??? Dad I'm definitely NOT a hippie. And I like this neighborhood"
MOM: "huh."

Charity met me 10 minutes after pulling up to the apartment. I remember that first night we just hung out for hours setting up my apt and talking. I was so happy she was there. But when she left to go home, I felt so alone and the full weight of living alone descended on me. After a while I crawled into bed, turned off the main light and settled in slowly, allowing my eyes to adjust to the darkness. My bed was pushed up against an open window and I could feel a cool summer breeze. I started to drift off... when something woke me.

" Guuuuurrrrrrrllll. I could have licked the bitch up and down! She was FINE!"

I jumped up. Who the hell was in my room?!!! Oh god I knew it, this living alone thing was bad bad bad idea. Now I'm going to die...alone...in a studio...in Brooklyn. Worse yet it will probably be in the NY POST. So I would not only die, but also die a horribly tacky-play-on-words-death. Oh. God.

But I didn't die. Instead I learned to shut my windows when I needed to sleep and open them when I needed to know I wasn't really alone. Even if it was to listen to two lesbians talk about licking someone. It's been an amazing 5 years in that apt. I'll miss it.

And so it looks like another change. I’m moving in with Matt in a little over a month.

Scared? Sure.

Excited? Totally.

What's this about?

2005-02-07T10:18:00.000-05:00

While suffering through the stomach flu from hell on Friday I had some time to think about what this blog would most likely be about. Okay I didn't really ponder it too deeply, I watched One Life to Live, Montel and some make-over show on TBS in between puking my guts out but in those quiet moments when I wasn't puking, I sorta figured out what I could see happening with this thing. Thursday night I was talking with a friend of mine about creating a cookbook for people with ADD in which every recipe would be like 3-4 ingredients or the directions could all be in pictures and maybe even a few of the recipes would go off on long tangents with lots of stories and recipes that branch off and include a lot of pointless details. In other words, kinda like having a conversation with me.

Cheese Omelets

Take 2 eggs and whisk together with sour cream, pour into buttered non-stick frying pan -- Whisk...that's kinda cool word. It's totally one of those words that sound like it's spelled. What do they call that again? Oh right, ... yeah....on·o·mat·o·poe·ia Hmm... I wonder if saunter falls in to that category too? I love the word saunter. Saunter always implies that I'm doing some Fred Astaire dance down the road whenever I use it. "Upon hearing the building was about to explode, Sandy, grabbed her cat, yanked the door open and sauntered down the stairs." Fuck...fucking shit burnt the freakin' eggs again! $#@$%^*&%!!!

Take 2 more eggs and whisk...

So until the book comes out most likely I can see this blog having a lot of the everyday as seen from my perspective along with some simple recipes and long tangents that don't really have any real point.

Nice.

Aside from the stomach flu from hell, this weekend was pretty cool. Saturday, Matt and I started our apt search. We saw a few places in Carroll Gardens Brooklyn but nothing that really impressed us. Then we decided to check out this new Luxury building that is still being completed near Brooklyn Heights, just for fun. He had heard from a co-worker the apartments were "sick!" so we figured it would be fun to have a look even if we couldn't remotely afford them. After signing some waiver that stated if they accidentally dropped a large chunk of cement on our heads we wouldn't sue, we were escorted into the building. OMG it was SICK. We saw 2 sample apts, one was a two bedroom the other a one bedroom. Each had a chef's kitchen something I thought was an urban myth in New York. Both were really huge. Suffice to say we fell in love and to our total shock found out it was actually in our price range.

Basically they want everything but our first child so I'm not holding out too much hope we'll get it but we're putting our applications in tomorrow and my fingers are crossed.

Sunday we went to my friend's Superbowl party. Her invite was priceless...

In honor of my favorite fuckin sporting event of the year, duh that would be the superbowl and not curling, (Americans are the champs at it btw) please come watch the game and drink at our place this Sunday. I have no idea who's playing, what channel it's on, or when the damn thing starts so please arrive at your convenience as you do anyhow. All I know is we have a massive TV and should fulfill our duty to host such events. Anyone donning a helmet will win a door prize or whatever is behind door number #3.

~Cheers

Instead of buffalo chicken wings I decided to make Buffalo Chicken wraps.

Sandy's Superbowl, because wings are messy, Buffalo Chicken Wraps

1. Take Chicken strips season with cayenne pepper and salt. Dunk strips into egg and flour twice (use whole wheat flour, you can't tell the difference from the regular kind and they'll come out crispier)

2.Fry in pan with lots of oil (make sure the oil is hot, when it begins to smoke a little it should be perfect, if it starts to smoke a lot you have a problem.) Cook on each side for about 5 mins.

3.Drain on a paper towel if you care about that sort of stuff.

4.In a bowl pour about a half the bottle of Buffalo sauce.
You can make it if you want to but screw that I just buy it.

5.Take cooled fried chicken strips and dunk into sauce then place onto a cookie sheet. Cook for 10-15 minutes in 375˚oven.

6.While they are cooking, shred some iceberg lettuce and warm up some flour tortillas.To make wrap, just stick 2 pieces of chicken, blue cheese dressing and lettuce into the wrap and enjoy something that tastes so good you'd swear it was 3am, you're wasted and in a fast food restaurant.

Yum.

Looking Forward

2005-02-03T17:44:00.000-05:00

2 things I am excited about are this and this

Yeah... there....I admit it. I love that show. I love America's Next Top Model! I do. I am quite certain that show was put on this earth for me to consume large amounts of alcohol with my friends while making bets on who will be kicked off and simultaneously shoving homemade guacamole into my mouth (recipe to follow in a later post) in-between smoking ciggies and some serious gossip. Which is why March 2 I will be ready America's Next Top Model Oh yes...I will be ready.

Okay this post has to be short one because I'm meeting a friend of mine for happy hour drinks. Matt just called me too and I'm not exactly sure what happened at work but apparently it wasn't very good and I think his head exploded. All I know is he just puked all this stuff about work on me and being ADD I heard and understood about 43% of it. Mostly it was a lot of..."Oh My God!"...and "What the fuck?" and "You know?" Which of course I said I did know...but I don't. So I need to go have drink and find out.

Good night :)

Holy Fucking Shit

2005-02-02T19:07:00.000-05:00

Last night I had a marathon conversation with my friend Julie that involved an entire bottle of wine and a pack of cigarettes.(at least on my end of the phone) It was such a fantastic conversation though that I found myself actually not wanting to get off the phone at all. I realized it was my second marathon phone conversation in less than a week. Which is sorta a major deal for me in a way actually, as I'm not what you'd call a "phone-person"

I never used to hate the phone till somewhat recently. I'm not really sure what happened to be honest. But some time in the last couple of years I started to develop a general aversion to the phone, which most recently developed into complete contempt for it.

Matt has noticed my problem with the phone and teases me over it by doing impressions of me when my phone rings that generally involve a high-pitched voice that sounds nothing like mine (Matt.) and a lot of overly dramatic sighs and eye rolling. (Okay yes...maybe I do that...sometimes.) Even a few friends have witnessed my phone tantrums and I guess rightly so, have become a little phone-insecure over it. Sometimes asking me if I do that when they call. The answer obviously is...of course not.

(Okay I might, but usually it's because I don't even know it's you calling me yet you see? And I just react, I just I dunno react... but you see once I know it's you, I'm really glad and you're probably just getting my voicemail because I'm in the subway...or...um...away from my desk... or my phone is off or I just missed you, or you've called me like 4 times in less then 5 hours and that's just fucking freaky. Are we good?)

But last night was great and I was happy to continue my conversation with Julie for hours. (Hi Julie!) After my phone and hers were ready to die we finally hung up and I started making myself a late dinner. What I made can only be described as a Brooklyn miracle, I'm calling it Holy Fucking Shit This Is The BEST Chicken Ever! It was so good I feel the need to share this masterpiece. Now I've heard that in some parts of the world people call this Chicken Milanese. Shhhhyeah. What the fuck is that about? Jealous?

So I bring you...

Sandy's Holy Fucking Shit This Is The BEST Chicken Ever! recipe:

Ingredients as follows:

Boneless chicken breasts
Chicken stock
White wine (whatever is left after you drank most of it, any cheap dry kind will do)
Shallots
Butter
Garlic
Mushrooms
Fresh parsley
Italian seasonings
Egg
Flour

Dip the chicken pieces into the egg and then into the flour, do this twice for extra crispy fried goodness. Take a moment, to marvel. Just, marvel.

Fry chicken in a pan with a ridiculous amount of oil. Roughly 2 mins on each side. Take chicken out and drain onto a paper towel.

In a new pan, melt butter; add chopped shallots, garlic and mushrooms and spices until softened. Add a few tablespoons of flour to thicken into a rue. Then slowly add chicken stock and wine.

Stir until it gradually thickens, then add chicken back into the pan with sauce until completely cooked through, like 5-10 mins. At this point you might realize, that in your moment of complete self-adoration over creating something so fucking beautiful, you totally spaced on starting the spaghetti...so start the spaghetti, preferably start the spaghetti some time around 10 fucking minutes ago.

Okay the spaghetti is nearly done, just a tad undercooked that's good, you wanna drain that and then throw that into the pan with the Holy Fucking Shit This Is The BEST Chicken Ever!

Let it sop...seep, sop whatever the hell that word is, the entire flavor up for about 1 minute or 2 off the heat. And Voila!

Cookie Dough

2005-02-01T16:18:00.000-05:00

So I have come to the sad conclusion that I can’t bake cookies to save myself. I suck. I can't do it. Baking takes precision. Baking is following directions. Baking is measuring things. And let's be honest here, measuring is not one of my strengths and neither is following directions now that you mention it.

I once read this article that said the world could be divided up into 2 types of people. People who read the instructions and people who don't. I my friend, don't. In fact I am reasonably sure that every board game I have ever owned I probably played some bastard form of it.

So what was supposed to be Chocolate Chip cookies came out more as, round flattened soupy discs with melty chocolate bits. I wouldn't feel bad except I had this cookie shit mastered in Elementary school. I had the Toll House Chocolate Chip cookie recipe on the back of the chocolate chips bag burned into my brain by the age of 5. What has happened to me?

The invention of the instant cookie dough log is what happened people. Why bother making cookie dough from scratch when you could just unpeel a log of the stuff and eat it like a banana while watching bad reality TV? Then if you REALLY got bored you could cook it, just to you know, to switch things up a bit. (ha, ha yeah riiiiight like I’d do that) But I digress; I attribute the cookie log to my 'Flowers for Algernon' rapid loss of cookie baking ability.

So I was forced to watch The Bachelorette sans cookie or dough. Why am I watching this show anyway? It's really not that exciting, not like America's Next Top Model. Which was informative. Oh yes... that show made me understand that...hey modeling is hard and stuff. Models have to do a lot of things like, travel and look good like all the time. That even if you’re 5’ 10” and 100 pounds you’re still fat. And how being young, beautiful and in some cases non-photogenic is really freakin' hard. What has the The Bachelorette taught me? That French men are gay? I already knew that.

So I dunno, Bachelorette, I just don't know if I can justify watching you again. Maybe because I don't have cable and it's a Monday night I might end up watching you again, but I will at least be armed with a log of cookie dough this time.

Weekend of Birthdays

2005-01-31T16:12:00.000-05:00

I love those weekends where everything just seems to fall into place perfectly. Friday night I hung out with some good friends of mine at my friend Charity's apartment. My friends Julie S. and Elliot were there and I really I don't see them often enough. We just drank wine and passed photos around from their trip to Uruguay. I'm always amazed at other people's travel pictures. These were particularly cool. I realized that Uruguay looks a lot like the Cretaceous period of Earth in some parts. While hearing the stories behind the pictures, I kept half expecting Julie to say "Here's Elliot and I on the beach and oh and this one..ha...ha...is a funny story, this is Elliot and I running for our lives from a large carnivorous cold blooded reptile." They were very cool photos though. One of my most favorite things to do in the winter is go to someone's apartment, get a bottle of wine and a group of good people together and just spend hours drinking, telling stories and cracking each other up until I pass out on their couch and have an awkward conversation with them the next morning. ;)

Saturday, I hung round the apartment ( yes,mine ) Talked to my friend Sophie from SF for hours which just caused me to miss her even more. ( Hi Soph!) So finally after numerous cooking shows, I eventually motivated myself to go out and get my Dad's Birthday gift. (The book Angels and Demons) Then I picked up a very large pair of granny panties in Filene's basement for Maggie. You know what? I'm not even going to explain that right now.

Eventually, I met Matt at the Living Room for Maggie's Birthday shindig. DJ Ultragrrl spun some really good stuff. I was sorta wondering what the hype was over this girl but she really selected some very random and fun tunes and as a bonus she seems like a genuinely nice person too. There was a real nice vibe to the night. Everyone seemed so relaxed and happy to be there and celebrate. I love my friends. Happy Birthday Maggie!

Anna and I presented Maggie with her gift of an array of Victoria's Secret cute underwear since all her laundry was stolen a month ago. Every time I walk into Victoria's Secret I'm reminded of what my friend Patty's mom said once back when I was in high school about that store. I remember being 16 and sitting at Patty's kitchen table, both of us leafing through the VS catalog, when patty's mom strolled in from work. She glanced over and said in a very frank voice " You know what Vicky's BIG secret is?" We looked up, confused. " She likes to dress like a slut." Mrs. Latture you were awesome. So Maggie now you can dress like a slut. Except I've included a pair of enormous granny panties that you can throw on over your jeans and wear around the house when you're drunk. Something every girl needs and should do.

Sunday was spent making a somewhat lop-sided sad little thing I like to refer to as my dad's birthday cake. God why can't I bake? It sorta looked like a large poop. Trekking that thing up to 51st was not fun. I accidentally smooshed it twice which surprisingly improved its look I think. Matt and I met up with my parents, sister and fiancée at Tse Yangs for my Dad's Birthday dinner. My parents were in NYC for a couple of days to celebrate with my sister and I on their way down to Florida. Dinner was amazing. I'm not really a huge fan of Chinese food but what a difference it makes when you have quality Chinese food. We all shared our dishes and I've decided that this has ruined me for ordering the cheap stuff ever again. I've also figured out that orange beef actually does not and should not consist of bright orange blobs of batter with tiny fatty pieces of beef inside. Who knew? Next thing I'm going to find out that MSG isn't a Chinese herb.

The night was capped off by unveiling my masterpiece of a cake. And my dad almost burning down Erin's apartment by collecting all 20 of the trick birthday candles in his hand and in an attempt to impress us all with his 58 year old lung power blow an enormous ball of fire across the table, thus causing me to do a slow motion "noooooooooooooooo!" and Erin to make a dive through the air (also in slow motion) for the kitchen sink.

Good times.

Happy Birthday Dad, don't worry my eyebrows will grow back, I'm sure.

Okay so maybe I lied.

2005-01-28T13:29:00.000-05:00

The other day I stumbled onto a blog called http://www.dooce.com and was so blown away by its creativity and humor that I almost immediately felt inspired to revive this blog again. I've kind of always wanted to resuscitate this thing but wasn't sure exactly why or how to go about it. I have wondered what this blog would even be about to be honest.

I don't really have a tremendous need to pour my soul out to strangers online, on a quest for new friends or as a form of online therapy. I love music but I'm not interested in trying to impress people with my Indie music cred. (The little bit I have anyway) with regular posts about obscure bands I think are cool and what shows I'll be going to. I'm probably not going to the show, because I'm either A. broke B. lazy. or let's be honest C. probably unaware there was even a show at all and don't particularly care. I'm sure a few years ago I would have done some thinly veiled pseudo-Sex and the City-blog about how CrAzY being single in NYC is but thank god I'm over it. Plus, I don't have any serious problems with my co-workers to speak of, to eventually get fired over when someone discovers this. And lastly, I'm not looking for a book deal as I have a healthy grasp on reality

But I like to tell long overly detailed stories that generally are a true testiment to my boyfriend's patience and I like to write. So that's something. So I'll probably do that. Also you can probably count on the fact that I won't post here everyday, I dunno maybe I'll surprise myself but I guessing that's a lot of commitment for someone with ADD. I really can't promise this won't be boring but then again nobody is forcing you to read it so suck it. I'll probably delete mean comments because I'm narcissist with an image to keep and I'm sensitive dammit! Also if you happen to read my "Do's and Don't for writing a successful blog" you'll realize really fast that none of those rules have been applied to this blog, which perhaps you'll find somewhat strangely ironic which is cool I'm actually okay with that. So yeah that's really about it. We'll see what happens.

Jumpers

2004-08-10T21:08:00.000-04:00

Jumpers

A few weekends ago I saw essentially my first Broadway play. "Jumpers". It's a great play if you want to spend 2 hours of your life feeling like a moron. I've been living in NYC for 5 years and I haven't seen one Broadway play. I was ashamed. However it's important to note that Jumpers was not our first choice. No, we weren't that clever, originally it was "Ave Q" but when we failed to get lottery tickets it became "Wicked" and when we failed to get tickets for that, we settled on "Jumpers".

Our first clue that Jumpers might be a little over our heads might have been when we all went to read the blown up poster of a New York Times review for the play that was displayed in front of the theatre. It was painfully clear none of us got past the first paragraph. So with a confidence that only comes from ignorance we collectively said " Yeah cool...okay so should we see this? we should see this." Another bad sign might have been that it wasn't sold out on a Saturday night. Nothing screams "BROADWAY HIT!" like a partially seated auditorium. So after waiting in line, oh wait a second, there wasn't a line (yet another clue we missed) and getting our tickets we decided to troll the neighborhood looking for a decent place for a bite to eat.

After a lot of false alarms we settled on this Brazilian place that offered us some sketchy all you can eat meat meal in their basement. Now honestly, whom does this really appeal to? Apparently it appeals to my boyfriend Matt. However, as enticing as that was, we all passed (sorry Matt) and settled on an array of bad appetizers I hardly touched. Which sucked because I was actually starving at that point. Instead, I proceeded to get trashed off of their national drink, which was a teaspoon of limejuice, 4 shots of rum and a pound of sugar.

It's weird going to your first Broadway show completely wasted. Matt took a look at our tickets and seemed to take satisfaction in mentioning several times how coveted our seats were. I was excited. That is until we got to them and realized not only were we in the very VERY front row, but far far to the left. In other words I could not see anything but 3 large wooden crates in front of me. Just when I thought things couldn't get worse, the play started.

It's never a good sign when you are 20 minutes into a play and you still have absolutely no idea what is going on. I desperately searched Matt's face for a sign that he was as lost as I was, but he seemed to laugh in the appropriate places. This wasn't a good sign. Allow me to invite you into my internal monologue.

" What's going on? Hmm maybe if I just really focus on what he's saying I will start to get it.... okay I'm going to start listeeeeennnniiiiinnnnggggg.... now!............okay now... now...now! Fuck you stupid play and your fucking fancy words and dialog I can't understand. Oh that's right, laugh Matt...laaaaaauuuugh. You're only laughing cuz that guy next to you did. Ew...that actor spits so bad every time he talks. It's kinda of nasty. There's this spittle mist raining down on the front row and they have no idea. But my superior seats allow me to see the spittle mist, heh heh... spittle...spittle is a funny word...ha ha... spittle rhymes with skittle...OH NICE I have M&M's I forgot about them. (Searches inside bag for m&m's) What the hell is this fucking box doing in front of MY seat? My seat of all the places! As if it's not bad enough that we have seats where I have to look up at a 90-degree angle to even see this stupid play. I am now partially obstructed by some prop and what is this anyway? Oh shit Matt just laughed again.I hate this, I didn't think that was funny. That was sooo NOT funny. Or maybe I just didn't get it? Maybe it was a real laugh-riot and I'm a moron. Great...people are laughing and I'm the only one who doesn't get it. Who's riding the short bus home?! Where's my helmet? Whoaaaa HELLO. Full-frontal nudity, hmm okay, didn't know that was in this play. I think Matt's eyeballs just fell out of his face and are rolling on the stage...heh...heh. Ok what exactly was the point of that random nudity? God, I have no fucking clue what is going on. Plays annoy me. It's always someone going off on some long diatribe about something so simple. People don't talk that way in real life nope. That'd be funny though if Matt and I talked like these people to our friends all the time...*queue dream sequence*

Friend : " Hey you guys want to get drinks after work?"

Me: "Look at the moon tonight *insert melodramatic sigh* so lonely...we would get a drink but why? Why drown our sorrows why dilute the pain? There is no escape. We walk this earth and we cannot deny we are human. And humanity after all, is neither good nor evil but indifferent to the world...indifferent like the moon is. If a man *begins to pace and wave hands wildly* while walking into a garden were to accidentally crush an insect does that make him evil?"

Friend: "Um gee... I dunno Sandy; look I just wanted to know if you wanted to get a drink, um. But really it's cool, it's cool."

After we switched seats during intermission. (Surprisingly there were about 6 people in the balcony so it was really difficult finding a spot to sit) I was determined to put all the pieces together and figure out this fucking crap play. I would then impress everyone afterwards with my in-depth interpretation of "Jumpers" and feel superior for the remainder of the night

" Um no Matt *gawf!*.... Obviously the play humanizes the cuckolded George, making him a comic professor of pretensions and valiant man struggling to assert his belief in God and goodness in a disordered world...duh? Every one knew that...har har har"

But...no luck, it just got weirder and weirder and I spent most of my time wondering how much more of it I could handle and made deliberate noises with my M&M's as I launched them off the first row balcony to annoy Matt. Annoying Matt when I'm bored is literally one of my favorite things to do. It's really bad, but seriously watching him get annoyed makes me crack up. It's probably why the last fight we had I burst out laughing.

After the play we all met outside and I was relieved to find out that actually none of us understood it. Once again we stood outside and started to read the NY Times review searching for some clue that would assist us in understanding what we had just seen. Once again we all got bored after the second paragraph and walked away.

I think I'll start off with something a bit easier next time, maybe the Lion King.

Reasons why I will not be starting a "real" blog

2004-07-28T22:29:00.000-04:00

Lately some people have told me I should start writing a real blog. For a moment I thought about it. But I have come to the conclusion that I think it's a bad idea. Here’s why:

1) Talking about your life everyday is a lot of work.

I don't mind posting every now and again on My Space, that's just about my speed. For one thing, this way I know there isn't any pressure to keep it updated, as there would be once I go public and of course develop a massive fan base.

2) I've become too involved.

Lately, I've been feeling like I've seen some of the people from the blogs I read, around the city and it kinda tweaks me out. Here I am on my way to Duane Reade to buy some Sudafed and there's that guy from the blog I read religiously in the shampoo aisle. The one who's obsessed with this girl who has a boyfriend that she cheated on, with him like a month ago and now it's all a mess because she found the blog and wouldn't talk to him so he got wasted one night and...Okay you see where this is going? I've become involved people. I-N-V-O-L-V-E-D. I seriously wanted to ask him, "So Thursday, I noticed you didn't really post much but she seems to be talking to you again and that's cool but how did that happen? Because Tuesday she told you to fuck off and gaps like that in blog can be really confusing and it's like one minute she hates you and the next she’s talking to you? And holy fucking shit I need to get a life because I've become scary blog stalker girl!!!" See what I'm saying? If I've become this way,who is to say if I put my blog up how many people I could be passing on the street that are having creepy internal monologs about me? Yeah...not good...especially because...

3) I'm really boring actually.

I am. My friends know this about me already but you don't. I couldn't help but think when I saw that blogger guy on the street "Shit, this guy's life is way more interesting then mine, I'm not sure I want the same scenario to happen the other way around." I mean how embarrassing would it be if someone recognized me on the street and was like, "Oh there's that girl who ate cereal this morning and then tweezed her eyebrows" I mean it's not like I have this insane social life and if I did well that leads me to my 4th reason why I don't want to create a real blog.

4) Living in fear

I don't have an insane social life. There for I would be tempted to write about the people who annoy me in my life. I figured out there are actually a lot of people out there who annoy the crap out of me. Right now they don't know they annoy the crap out of me and that's a good thing, in fact that's a great thing. I'm not exactly talking about friends but mainly more about people outside your social network. People who could make your life miserable if they knew how much they make your life miserable. For example, I've found some coworkers on Friendster and it freaked me out. Kinda like when you find out your parents are stilling having sex? Yeah *shutter shutter* it's like a whole new world I didn't want to know about. "Oh my god that's Kathy from Marketing...oh god what is she licking in that picture?" Also I want to bitch about my coworkers but is it worth it in the end when they find your blog and are reading it and thinking it's so funny until they realize that
" Hey wait a second, that was my phone conversation yesterday you fucking bitch!" No... I work hard enough as it is, I don't need to make my job any worse.

5) Where's the fun in it if the person reads it anyway?

I might want to talk about you, but I'd like to reserve the right to talk about you behind your back. The good ol' fashioned way. Just like you do about me. See doesn't this work so much better?

6) Good blogs are kinda fucked up, so blog big or don't blog at all

The only blogs I like to read are the really fucked up ones. So it's hypocritical for me to start a real blog but then water everything down or use secret names. Secret names are not to be confused with fun nicknames. Fun nicknames are fun. Pukeface for example, is funny; using the name "girl1" in place of " Michelle" is lame. See the difference? One is making light of an undesirable trait, such as having a face as ugly as vomit. The other is just being secretive and trying to make it hard for me to figure out who it is. See good blogs don't do that; they put it all out there, which I think is crazy and leads me to my 7th point.

7) You have to be a little bit "padded walls" crazy to write a good blog.

To literally write about everything. Every feeling, every rejection, every self-loathing whiney moment of your life and publish it on the internet, well you have to be just a little bit psycho and you have to really think your life is interesting which means you are not only a little crazy but a little narcissistic too. Which I'm so obviously not people and I’ll be talking all about that in my next entry.

I need to go home now...perhaps I’ll write more on this later. See this is another reason why I shouldn't have a blog. I have a short attention span, I couldn’t come up with an even 10 reasons.

This post has become tiresome. Now iz thee time when we must dance.

How to write a great blog

2004-06-07T18:32:00.000-04:00

After spying and reading my fair share of blogs I have compiled a list of do's and don'ts for writing a successful blog that everyone will want to read. Right now you may be thinking, wait your blog kinda sucks though, why should I listen to you? Yeah well that's because I actually do things away from my computer.

So with that I bring you...

My do's and don'ts for writing a successful blog that everyone will wanna read.

1. For the love of God people no more blogs about the bands you stalk. They are B_O_R_I_N_G. Nobody cares if you saw the Go-station for the 14th time this month and the lead singer said "hey" to you. (although I'm sure they are lovely people) Now, if you had sex with one of the guys from Go-Station well then that's cool you can put that in there. Actually, if you had sex with one of the guy's from Go-station and then he ignored you at the last show and you felt all used and hostile about it, that might work, I might wanna read about that.

2. Don't be vague. What is that about? You're posting your life on the internet, isn't that sorta defeating the purpose at this point ? Give me names people! Unless it's my name. Don't ever use my name. Unless it's about something really good. Then it's ok.

3. Please do not post your poems or lyrics on your blog. They're bad. You don't know that yet, but one day you'll look at them and think " holy fucking shit that's so stupid." So I'm just sparing you that moment. Also poems and lyrics are an evil trap, because you'll see the title of the blog and think its going to be good but instead it's someones lame-ass lyrics they made up one night, wasted, alone and obsessing on their ex. And then you just feel like fuck that's a 30 seconds of my life I'm never going to get back, fuck you and your stupid fucking song lyrics asshole.

4. It's okay to talk shit about people, just not about me.

5. If you're going to post your life on the internet, don't get all pissed off when your ( ex, current boyfriend/girlfriend, friend, family member, secret crush etc) finds the thing and wants to cause bodily harm to you. Most importantly don't ever say " Why did you read my journal, it's personal S!" because then I have to point out that you put it online you fucking fucktard.

6. Make your boring stories interesting.
For example :

Today I went down to the corner deli and bought a sandwich. My favorite ham and swiss, mustard on a roll. the deli guy is nice. He totally knows me now. NYC isn't so big. Ran in to Becky on the street, she's so cool. Went home watched tv for a bit.

Now here's a way to make it something I would read.

Today I went down to the corner deli and bought a sandwhich. My favorite ham and swiss, mustard on a roll. The deli guy totally hit on me again. So this time I asked him to teach me some words in Chinese and next thing I know we were naked in the storage room. It was hot hot hot triple x action but now I'm all confused. Then on my way home I ran into Becky. That girl in college I had a pseudo-lesbian fling with. Turns out she's pregnant with her ex-boyfriend Craig's baby you know "Heroine Addict Craig"? ( it's always good to make up fun nicknames in your blogs for people). Anyway turns out he stole a bunch of shit from her parents house last Thanksgiving and now the cops are totally after him. Apparently he was last seen New Mexico. Which is weird cuz i just got an email from my friend Mike who lives in New Mexico. His family finally did an intervention and broke him out of the "Up With People" cult he was in for 6 years. He's showering again and trying to rebuild his life now. Which made me think I should tell Becky, because they used to date in college and she's cool even if she is pregnant. Then I went home and watched TV for a bit.

7. Contrary to what you think there will most likely be someone out there that thinks your pathetic life is interesting so this is actually one of those rare instances where talking about how much of a loser you are, don't have any friends and have some seriously disgusting habits could actually make you popular, so go for it.

8. Surveys are actually kinda cool and those random quizzes like "What early 1990's Slow Jam are you?" are very relevant to my life because up til this point I didn't know I was Amy Grant's " Baby Baby" and now I need to do some serious work on myself cuz I'm kinda flipped out about that.

9. Do include links to stuff and people, but only if they're good. Nobody cares if you put a link in there to a movie you saw. TROY isn't really hard to find.

10. It's totally cool to post shit about annoying coworkers. The more annoying they are the better. In fact it's great when you document every little fucking annoying thing they do because they are loud as fuck so go ahead and include full conversations they have " I have to! Oh MY GAWD...i'm just imagining in my head I'm just dying, holy shit, holy fucking shit, did he just call you? i just got out of a meeting...holy shit keeeeeke ( becomes inaudible at this time) Okay so 7:30, yeah... yeah...aaahhhhhhhhhh...oh shit? Did he stay over?"

That's about it really.